Deconstructing impacts more than just beliefs. Family, friends, values, and the foundations of how one sees the world are simultaneously put in jeopardy. Pain is a companion.

Many people begin deconstructing their faith before they realize they are doing so. Messages which previously were blindly accepted no longer ring true. For some, a trauma initiated this doubt. For others, it was harm they saw happen to someone else, or a group identity, that felt at odds with other religious messages they heard. At some point, it all stopped adding up. Faithful people ask why. 

As people begin the process of disentangling who they are and what they know, some faith leaders are open to the conversation. Others are not. It is not uncommon for people deconstructing their faith to be blamed and judged for asking why things are not as consistent as they were led to believe. Many find community online, through YouTube videos and blogs, and social media. 

It is very common that people who are part of the questioner's community--family, friends, faith community--feel that their ideas of what it means to be a faithful follower are challenged when someone is asking questions. Their own faith feels threatened. 

Many people deconstructing their faith feel pressure from loved ones not to step outside the lines. They experience social, familial, and intellectual pressures all while their own identity and cognitive/spiritual foundations are unstable. The fear of loss of important relationships is another challenge people face in this process. 

Someone going through this process needs to feel safe, that they are not going to be judged. Confidentiality is necessary, which is found in therapy. It is also necessary that someone they are working with does not have an interest in the outcome, only an interest in the safety and wholeness of the person seeking truth. 

For some, deconstruction does not mean deconversion, but rather the need for a new vision of faith; for others, it does mean deconversion. At Wholeness Northwest, it is the person who takes priority. All questions, feelings, and beliefs are respected. 

Much of deconstruction is done without the help of a therapist. If you believe the confidentiality, safety, and experience of someone who has been through this process could support your journey, help can begin with a free consultation.